Regular readers adept at reading between lines may already have concluded that here in the Great White Con Ivory Towers we have been surreptitiously organising the world’s first ever Arctic Basin Big Wave Fantasy Surfing Contest (or GWCABBWFSC for short). Today we are proud to announce that the long waiting period may now be almost over!
Here is the long range Arctic weather forecast from GFS 192 hours from now (courtesy of MeteoCiel):
There looks to be a certain amount of agreement there, so now let’s take a look at ECMWF for T+240h:
If the forecast pans out (a very big IF this far out!) there’s an Arctic storm brewing with the isobars packed tight over all the open water in the Laptev Sea, pushing the potential swell through the East Siberian Sea and on into the Beaufort Sea before it crashes against the northernmost shores of North America.
We fondly imagine a Great White Con team containing the likes of Andrew Cotton:
taking on the biggest waves ever recorded on camera off Alaska’s North Slope, each clad in their respective sponsors’ thickest, finest neoprene.
The opposing “Great Green Con” team will be composed of volunteers from amongst the serried ranks of fiddlers with the facts on Fleet Street such as Andrew Neil, David Rose and Christopher Booker, all clad in matching Polar Bear suits to keep the cold Arctic waters at bay:
To coin a phrase oft used in this particular portion of the blogosphere:
I left the “Self styled” bit out of today’s title, which would have otherwise have been too long for comfort! With all due modesty I do in fact have lots of hard evidence to back my claim. By way of example, here’s a copy of a recent conversation over at “Steve Goddard’s” (un)Real Science blog, but with all the expletives and (most of the) ad homs deleted:
I’m afraid this by now iconic “photoshopped” image of a surfing polar bear culled from Geoffrey Lean’s blog at the Daily Telegraph strikes all Arctic surfing experts, yours truly included, as nothing more that a piss poor piss take (or PPPT for short)!
Us:
As the current “silver” surfer in residence here, perhaps I should point out that this subject is very dear to my heart. The surfing not the bears!
For a photoshopless video of things to come see Red Bull’s “Surfing in Alaska”:
Them:
Hats off to you guys (and beautiful girl)! I got cold just watching it!
Us:
Hats off to Maya certainly. Far more balls than most men, and (conventionally) beautiful with it.
Numpty alert! [Etymology: Numpty first surfaced on the terraces of west of Scotland football grounds, many, many years ago. A player who couldn’t hit a cow’s arse with a shovel would be a f***ing numpty. “Awww Jimmy you f************ing numpty!! You couldnae score wi’ ma’ sister!”]
Three numpties on one thread; is this a record? Could it be due to global warming?
Us:
Cotty tames the waves that almost killed Maya. Paxo interviews him about the experience!
Numpty alert?
Time passes…..
Another surf vid. This one is much more low key. It captures the mellow vibe of a midwinter session somewhere on the North Devon coast:
http://econnexus.org – In which Ralph Freeman, bassist for the Universe Inspectors and British big wave surfer extraordinaire, catches a short ride at Putsborough Beach 18 months after suffering a broken neck whilst surfing low tide Croyde.
It’s great to see a local legend apparently back to full fitness after his injuries.
That was the first time I ever saw Ralph Freeman in action on his trademark bright yellow board, but it wasn’t the last!
Finally, for today at least, here’s a video that Tony Heller and his band of merry (mostly) men have not thus far been privy too. The Red Bull record of the day Maya Gabeira drowned and then Carlos Burle brought her back to life:
In conclusion, here’s the conclusion of the University of Washington paper, that for some strange reason neither Tony or Geoffrey mentioned:
“It is possible that the increased wave activity will be the feedback mechanism which drives the Arctic system toward an ice-free summer. This would be a remarkable departure from historical conditions in the Arctic, with potentially wide-ranging implications for the air-water-ice system and the humans attempting to operate there.”
Them:
Translation…
Surfs up!
Us:
Quite so! Some associated technology testing:
Them:
We’ll keep you posted!
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To coin a phrase oft used in this particular portion of the blogosphere: